


Come back to me

by NanPan86



Category: Chicago PD (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-07
Updated: 2021-01-11
Packaged: 2021-03-18 01:28:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 16,541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28609848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NanPan86/pseuds/NanPan86
Summary: Being the kind of partner that he is, Jay sets out to help Hailey heal after an injury nearly takes her from him.  Is this the reason they need to give in?
Relationships: Jay Halstead/Hailey Upton
Comments: 36
Kudos: 117





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks thesunflowergarden for your help on this one!

The sound of the waves gently lapping at the shoreline sounds like one of the most beautiful lullabies Hailey has ever heard. If she stretches her legs out enough, the water will tickle her toes. She loves it here, even if she isn’t quite sure where  _ here  _ is. There’s no memory of coming here, but that’s okay with her right now. She never gets time off. 

It’s a lake, she can see that. The crystal clear water stretches farther than she can see and if she looks around, there isn’t another soul out here with her.

“How’s the water?” Jay’s voice comes from just behind her and she twists around quickly in her beach chair to see him.  _ Had he been there the whole time?  _

“It’s...refreshing.” She answers him, ignoring the fact that he seems to have appeared from thin air.  _ That would be crazy… _

“So it’s freezing?” Jay shoots her a grin and sets his own chair up beside her. His legs, which are bare from just above his knee to his toes, stretch out towards the water. “That’s too bad. You’d look great out there in the water with that suit on.” 

Hailey returns his grin for a moment, thinking that her black two piece with tiny white beads  _ would  _ look great on her...it’s why she bought it.  _ How does he know I’m wearing a suit? _

“I could stay here forever. I might never leave. Just...disappear.” She tips her face up to the warmth of the sun and her eyes close as she soaks it in, forcing the thought from her mind.

“What about me?” 

Her head rolls a little to the side and she squints her eyes at him.  _ Was the sun this bright a second ago, and why did he ask that?  _ She rubs her ears, shaking her head slightly trying to clear the odd ringing in them. It’s like a shrill beeping. Her heart seems to be beating in time with the sound.

“Do you hear that?” It gets louder and louder and then suddenly it stops. Jay is just staring out at the horizon line, either unaware or ignoring her distress. 

Just as quickly as it started, it's all over. Her heart rate settles and before she can think too much on it, that warm comforting feeling from before settles over her.

_ This is nice.  _

“Hailey?” Her head turns once again to look at him. There’s something off about this, something in the tone of his voice...but she can’t figure out what.  _ Why is she here? _

“Do you know where we are?” 

“Sure...I’m with you.” Jay gives her a quizzical look followed by a smirk.

“Ugh...you’re the worst, you know that?” Fine...she doesn’t really care anyway.

“I’m the worst? I’m not the one who chose this place.” 

She chose this place? That seems weird. How can you choose a place you’ve never been to? 

“What’s your favorite color, Jay?” Why should she worry about it? The sun is shining, the scenery is perfect, and the company...she doesn’t want to be anywhere else right now.

“Hmm...what’s yours?”

“That’s easy. Green. The darker shades though. Get out of here with that pastel crap.” She smiles when Jay laughs at her. She loves when he laughs. He doesn’t laugh enough.

“Yeah. Green’s my favorite too.” 

“If I had said red, would that have been your favorite, too?” The sound is back again, but this time it’s more of a buzzing...like white noise and she watches him to see if he can hear it, but he just answers her question like nothing is wrong.

“Of course. I’m here for you, Hailey.” His response sets off little alarm bells in her head but then he smiles at her and the doubt creeping into her mind fades. She’s always liked lakes. Now... _ if she could just figure out how she got to this one... _

“You know...When I was 14, some of my friends and I snuck out to meet up with some boys from our class. The one kid lived along the lake. I had my first kiss that night. Dylan Petrosky. Cutest boy in school and for some reason, he chose me.” It was a rare bit of happiness and innocence in her life at the time. His lips had tasted like the lemon candy drops he’d been eating and as far as first kisses go, it had been pretty perfect.

“First kiss huh? What happened with him?”

“My mom found out and made me tell my dad. I uh...I didn’t date again until I moved out.”  _ Why is she telling him this? _

“He hurt you? Your dad?”

Hailey can only nod. Of course he had. By that point, her brothers had all moved out and she’d been left alone to defend herself, not that she was able to most of the time. The rage and anger she had seen in his eyes that night...felt in the harshness of his touch...she could hardly get out of bed for a week. She’d had to quit volleyball and cross country that year. There were too many bruises and not nearly enough excuses. She wonders again why she is even mentioning any of this. They don’t really talk about things like this. Well...Jay does. Sometimes. Hailey on the other hand...she keeps things that are personal to herself. After the domestic violence case last winter, she’d been very careful to not let anything about her past slip out. People treat her differently...even Jay.

“You know what would be perfect right now?” Her arms cross behind her head as she watches some type of bird soar in the wind. She wants to think about something else...talk about something other than the pain she suffered growing up.

“Ice cream?” Jay reaches to his right into a bright red cooler Hailey had not seen. 

_ Okay...that was definitely not there before. What the hell is going on? _

“Where did that cooler come from, Jay?” 

“It’s been here.” He passes her a small container of her favorite flavor of ice cream. A flavor she hasn’t ever told him about.  _ Or had she? _ This was starting to freak her out.

“You know what? I’m actually kind of tired. I should head back.” She stands, not really sure where to go, but she walks away from the water towards the tree line.

“Hailey?”

His voice stops her. It doesn’t sound normal. It’s tortured...pleading. When she turns, the chairs are gone, the cooler and the lake, too. 

_ How did they get back to the city? _

“What’s happening?” The beeping is back, louder than before and there’s a sudden, searing pain in her abdomen. A burning in her chest.

“It’s time to go, Hailey.” Somehow Jay is standing right in front of her now. His eyes look sadly back at her. 

“What?”  _ Oh God…the pain. _

“You can’t stay here.” His hand reaches out, brushing her stomach causing her to cry out.

“Stop it!” It’s all wrong...everything. There’s so much blood.  _ Where did all this blood come from? _

Warm and sticky...red. It coats her fingers and Jay is covered in smears of it. 

“You have to go back.  _ Please.  _ Come back.” 

**“CLEAR!”**

Jay stands back and watches his partner jerk up off the bed with the force of electricity surging into her body. His eyes scan the monitor but the lines remain unchanged.  _ Dead...she’s dead. _

“Charge to 200.” The paddles are placed and another shock is delivered. 

He can’t be here. He can’t watch her die. How can he go about his life without her in it? 

“She’s back. We got her. Let’s move.” They move as a unit, rushing from the room with her.

“Wait!” Jay runs behind them and nearly sobs in relief as Dr. Marcel slows the bed to a stop.

“We need to move, Jay.” He motions for Jay to hurry up, telling the others to back off for a bit.

“Hailey...Please fight. You need to fight. For me...what about me?”  _ Don’t leave like this... _ He’s shoved out of the way before he can finish and his back hits the wall, sliding to the floor. 

“Come on, Jay.” Voight reaches down for his detective but Jay ignores him.

“I told her to wait. I told her to  _ wait…” How did this happen? _

* * *

**5 hours earlier**

“I heard you the first time.” Her teeth are clenched and she barely manages to not growl the words at her partner. 

“And yet...Here we are.” Jay’s hands move to his desk, leaning over it to get closer to her. “This guy looks like an idiot on paper, Hailey, but he’s got street smarts. He’s cold and calculating...we aren’t just gonna stumble upon him.” They've been at this for hours and Jay is very close to losing it. 

The case came in 2 weeks ago and it’s been one thing after another from the start. First, Burgess and Ruzek arrested the wrong guy and in the process, tipped off the guy they were trying to get. Deacon Ramirez...46 year old male, wanted on charges of trafficking young women. 23 girls, ages 17-28, had gone missing over the last 5 months. Four this month alone.

After the arrest mishap, both Kim and Hailey had attempted to go undercover in the areas where the highest volume of girls had gone missing. They’d been unsuccessful...both times they had tried. The female detectives had been directed to walk the streets until told otherwise. Both women were being closely monitored just in case, but in the end, it didn’t matter. Ramirez hadn’t taken the bait. And now, the youngest victim had gone missing just this morning with witnesses describing the abductor as Ramirez, almost perfectly. The girl was 13. Danielle Grants, taken right as she was walking to the school bus. Her parents had seen the whole thing happen from the kitchen window and had been unable to do a thing.

“I know you want to catch this guy...that you probably don’t want to leave with open cases, but we need a plan. Stop and think, Hailey.” The words leave a bitter taste in his mouth. He doesn’t know exactly when she is leaving for New York again, but he knows it’s only a matter of time. When they met to talk about the offer she had received from the FBI, he’d done his best to be happy for her. Even when her leaving is the last thing he wants. She had told him to tell her not to take it and he couldn’t do it. He refuses to be responsible for holding someone back. They’ve hardly spoken in the month since that night. Everyday he closes a little more of himself off from her so that when she does leave, he can at least pretend to not fall apart. He hates it.

“Jay, if you’d just listen for a second about the F…”

“Halstead, Upton! I need you two focused on this case. If you aren’t able to do that, then get the hell out of here.” Their boss cuts them both a look that is anything but impressed and Hailey and Jay both sit, busying themselves at their computers.

Hours later, Voight rushes from his office, telling his team to suit up. “We got a positive ID on Ramirez and the girl.” His team follows quickly behind him and listens as he shouts out more orders.

Ramirez and the girl were sighted entering an old meat packing building in the south side. This could be the last chance to get the girl back alive. Every hour that passes, the possibility of finding her alive dwindles.

* * *

Jay watches as Hailey and Kim strap their vests on. He could feel Hailey wanted to talk the entire car ride here, but she had only stared at his profile. Now is not the time to deal with their issues. They’ve got a kid to find.

“Upton, Burgess, Attwater, you take the back, let us know when you get inside. Ruzek, Halstead, you’re with me. Let’s go.” Voight leads his team to the side of the building and the rest of them head to the rear.

When they get to the back door, it’s bolted shut and Hailey has to pick the lock. They’d lose the element of surprise breaking it down. She’s a little rusty and it takes her a full minute to get the lock open. By some small miracle, the door doesn’t make a sound as it opens, and the three of them head inside.

“We’ve got movement.” Jay speaks into the radio, sending the warning to the detectives at the other side of the building. “He’s headed right for you guys. Stay where you are. Do you hear me?” There’s a frantic edge to his words this time and he hopes that the fact that he hasn’t gotten so much as a crackle over the radio in response means they heard and are hiding.

His hope is short lived when there’s a loud crash followed by shouting and gunfire. So many scenarios are running through his head as he rushes past Adam and Voight.  _ Hailey... _ He needs to get to Hailey.

By the time he gets to them, his heart is pounding so loudly in his ears that he can only make out Kevin’s lips moving. There’s no sound over the drumming of his heart. Hailey is standing there, palms out in surrender, talking to Ramirez. He’s got Danielle pulled tight against his chest, a knife bigger than any he’s ever seen pressed under her chin.

“She’s just a kid. Just let her go, and we can all walk out of here.” Her tone is controlled and calm. 

“You think I’m stupid?” Ramirez pulls the girl tighter and she cries out.

“Help me! Ple…”

“SHUT UP!” He cuts her off by pressing the knife harder to her throat.

Hailey can see the trickle of blood and knows she needs to act now. He’s not stable. He’s going to kill the girl.

“Hey! Look at me. If you kill her, that’s it. They will shoot you. Just let her…”

It happens in an instant. She’d been moving closer and closer to the two of them the entire time she’s been talking to him so when he suddenly shoves the girl towards her, she’s close enough to catch her. Hailey spins, pushing Danielle towards her team, towards safety, but before she can reach for her gun, he grabs her.

“Now  _ you  _ listen to me. She’s one of yours. I’ll kill her right in front of you unless you back off. BACK OFF!” Hailey doesn’t move. Her hands are gripping his forearm, trying to keep the knife from cutting her, but her eyes stay focused on Jay. 

He doesn’t have a shot. Even if he’d had his rifle he wouldn’t chance it. He’s using Hailey like a shield and unless he moves, or Hailey does, it’s just a waiting game. 

Hailey tries to tune out the shouting in her ears. He’s squeezing her so tight it’s difficult to breathe. She just needs a second. Just a moment of distraction and hopefully one of them can take the shot. Her eyes land on her partners once again and through the fear in them, she can see he’s waiting. Waiting for her to do something. For some cue from her that will end this, so she slowly lifts her left foot, setting it down just as carefully, hoping Jay understands that she’s about to stomp on his foot. 

When she slams her heel into the top of his foot, his scream springs her into action. She yanks down firmly on his forearm, spinning in his hold. The gunshot rings out just as he swings the knife towards her, sending blinding pain spreading through her side.

“Hailey DON’T!” Someone shouts at her, but it’s too late. She’s already pulling the knife from her side, staring down at the blood dripping off the blade. Jay’s terrified face is the last thing she sees before she crumples to the ground.

“Ambo is 2 minutes out.” Adam is suddenly on the other side of Hailey, pressing his bunched up shirt over Jay’s hand. She doesn’t move and her eyes stay closed no matter how many times they tell her to open them.

“Jesus…” Adam sucks in a breath when he sees the knife that did this. It’s even bigger up close, one of those old butcher knives. It looks like it hasn’t seen a kitchen sink in at least 10 years. The wound is long and deep, stretching clear from the left side of her back and around to the front of her hip. It’s at least 6 inches long and easily an inch deep if not deeper in certain spots. The vest can hold up under the force of a bullet, but the sharp pointed tip of the knife can pierce the Kevlar fabric easily. It’s bad...even with the vest stopping some of the force of the knife, it’s still really bad. The blood is already soaking through the shirt.

“She’s going to be fine...she’s going to be fine.” Jay repeats it until the EMT’s arrive. He feels like he can’t breathe as they load her into the back of the ambulance. 

_ What about me?  _ When she told him about the offer from the FBI, all he could think was ‘what about me?’ She was going to leave him behind. Their partnership, their friendship...them. She was going to leave it all behind. It’s in his mind now as he climbs inside after them. He should have told her to stay. He should have told her not to take it.  _ Why didn’t he tell her to stay? _

* * *

“Halstead...this isn’t your fault.” Voight speaks from his spot on the floor next to Jay. They had been sitting here for hours. Jay wouldn't move so he'd stayed.

“No one could have known he’d have jammers set up. Our radios worked until we entered the building. That’s not on you.” 

“She’s leaving...she was gonna leave. Did you know that?” 

“That’s uh...news to me, kid. Where was she going?” 

“I mean...maybe it’s me. Maybe I’m the problem. First Erin, now Hailey. It’s me…” That’s the only thing that he can think of. 

“I can’t speak for Hailey, cause I didn’t even know she was planning on going anywhere, but Erin...you weren’t the issue, Jay. Her mom was, her past was...I was. Not you.” 

“Jay?” April Sexton, one of the nurses that had gone with Hailey, waits for Jay and Hank to stand up. “Dr. Marcel wanted me to come give you an update.” The three of them walk down the hall into a small waiting room. 

“Hailey lost a lot of blood. The laceration was severe and her kidney was partially torn at the attachment vessels. Dr. Marcel was able to reattach the kidney, however, he was unable to save the spleen. A small portion of her bowel had to be resected as well.” She pauses, letting the worst of the injuries sink in. Hailey was really lucky, that’s for sure. 

“She’s gonna be okay though, right?”

“Dr. Marcel is confident that Hailey is going to make a full recovery. He’s started her on a large dose of antibiotics and we will monitor her kidney function closely over the next 72 hours. She should just be getting to recovery now, and your team will be able to see her as soon as she gets settled in her room.” His body melts into a chair and if he wasn’t busy holding his head with his hands, they’d all see his hands shaking. They’d see the tears of relief in his eyes.

* * *

He’s been sitting by her bedside for hours. Six long hours to be exact. His team stayed for as long as the hospital would allow them to, but eventually, they were told to leave. The only reason Jay is still here is because of Will. Jay hadn’t even had to ask for Will to pull some strings and let him stay. The older Halstead just took his brother’s arm on the way out of her room and pulled him to the side. Jay was once again fighting tears as he listened to Will tell him he could stay.

They aren’t keeping her sedated, but she had woken up in recovery in a lot of pain and the medication they gave her to help deal with it made her sleepy. He just wants to see her open her eyes. He wants her to not be lying here in this hospital. He wants to go back to last month and tell her he needs her to stay.

Every time he closes his eyes he sees her pull the knife out...sees her on the ground. He can still feel her blood on his skin. He wonders if this is what she felt after he’d been shot. He has no clue how she managed to function normally after it, when he can’t even stand the thought of sleeping.

A sound that could be his name or maybe just a groan of pain hits his ears and Jay snaps his eyes up to Hailey’s face. She’s blinking her eyes and trying to focus on his face but he can see the distress in them.

“Where’s the water?”  _ Wasn’t she at the lake? _

“Hang on. I’ve got it.” Jay pours her a cup and points the straw at her lips. His hand smooths over her hair as she sips it. “Hailey, are you in pain?” There’s no sign of it in her eyes. All he can see is panic as they frantically dart around the room..

“I was...I was at the la...how did I get here? I shouldn’t be here…” 

“Hailey?” The monitor starts to beep fast and loud. He presses the call button and moves closer to her face. “Can you tell me what happened? What did we do today?” She’s really out of it. More than just coming off anesthesia. Somethings wrong.

“Jay, what’s going on?” April enters Hailey’s room and immediately starts scanning her monitors, noticing the increasing heart rate.

“I don’t know. She’s not making any sense.” Stepping back some, he lets April take her temperature.

“She spiked a fever. We’re gonna need to run some more tests. It seems like the antibiotics aren’t working.” A doctor enters the room pushing a cart full of drawers.

“We need to start a central line. Get her on a drip of Rocephin. We need to get the fever down and stop the infection from reaching her bloodstream.” 

They don’t rush her from the room in a flurry of dramatics. There’s no code called. They seem worried but also look as though they have it under control. Jay looks away as Hailey’s chest is exposed so the catheter can be inserted in her chest. He doesn’t want to see her like this. He doesn’t ever want to see like this.  _ Vulnerable...broken...exposed.  _ She’s exposed. Not just physically either. If she finds out he saw her like this, she will be furious. 

Her grunt of pain when they inject lidocaine then the central line has his head turning once again. He should do something. Comfort her...talk to her. 

Keeping his eyes locked on her, he steps closer to the bed, careful to not get in the way. He sees the moment her eyes clear, and she finally seems to recognize him. Her hand reaches out with a strength that takes Jay off guard and locks onto his forearm.

“The water. Jay...where’s the water?” The words are barely out when her eyes flutter and close.

“Okay. Line’s in. The antibiotics should hopefully start to work. I also gave her a mild sedative to calm her down some. She’ll be out of it for a couple hours Jay. You should go home...shower. Change your clothes.” April scans his bloody shirt and jeans.

“Jay? Did you hear me?”

“Yeah...I’ll uh...She’s gonna…” The words he wants to say keep getting tangled on his tongue. 

“Go home, Jay.” April lays her hand on his arm, stopping him. “She’s in good hands.”

* * *

The shower does help to clear his head and the clean clothes feel much better than the others. He hadn’t been able to stomach any food, though. He’s got one more stop before he can go back to the hospital. He wants to stop at Hailey’s and grab her some clothes and some of her toiletries. The last time he’d been in the hospital, all he wanted was clothes of his own and to brush his teeth with something other than the standard hospital issued toothbrush.

There’s decorative rocks outside her apartment door and he counts three from the left and two down, reaching for the dark gray stone. It’s got a hidden compartment in it where Hailey stores her spare key. Vanessa had told him about it before she transferred out. Hailey had still been with the Feds at the time and she wanted to make sure Hailey’s plants didn’t die. 

He’d only had to come once though. Hailey had returned a week after Vanessa left but he remembered where the key was. The sun is just barely shining through her front window and he flicks on the light, illuminating the living room.

He’s spent so many hours in her living room. Hours just sitting next to her on her couch, less than two feet away from her. They’ve laughed, they’ve  _ not  _ cried together. They sat in silence until it didn’t hurt so bad. Right now, at this moment, he can’t remember the last time he’s been here on the couch with her. Before she left for New York probably. 

It’s been too long, that’s for sure. Too many nights spent licking his wounds alone instead of letting her presence heal him and vice versa. It’s too soon to think that this injury was a blessing in disguise...a wake up call for him. She’s still fighting, but yeah...the idea that he could have lost her today without things being okay between them? It doesn’t sit right with him.

He stares at the couch for a moment longer before he heads upstairs to her room. He starts in her bathroom, grabbing the tiny bottles of shampoo and conditioner he finds in one of the drawers of her vanity. Toothbrush, toothpaste, hair brush with some extra hair ties wrapped around the handle. He’s not sure what else to grab from here, but he’s pretty certain he has enough for now.

Clothes are next. She’s probably going to be in the hospital at least another 3 days for sure, if not longer, so he grabs 3 of everything. Shirts, socks, pants and a pair of shorts. Underclothes...he needs to grab underwear for her.  _ Right...no big deal…. _

Except it sort of is…a big deal. He’d deny it if she ever asked him outright about it, but he’s definitely, on more than one occasion, thought about her underwear. He’s thought about what it might be like to hold a pair in his hands, but in his mind, they would be warmed from her body. This is not how he thought he’d get his hands on them. 

He tries not to snoop as he grabs a few pairs and then some cotton bras. They look comfortable so he grabs them even though she probably won’t want to wear them. He zips up the back pack and starts for the door when a familiar article of clothing catches his eye.

A Blackhawks hoodie.  _ His  _ Blackhawks hoodie. 

“That little thief…” He’s grinning even as he says it, and he quickly adds it to the bag. Before Gael, and Darius, he’d lent it to her. She was supposed to give it back but clearly she hadn’t. He liked the way she looks in it anyway.  _ Likes... _ She isn’t dead. He’ll see her in it again.


	2. Chapter 2

When Hailey wakes up again, it’s been a full day since the incident. Her mouth is dry and her lips feel like they are gonna split apart at the slightest movement. And her stomach...it feels tight and itchy but she doesn’t scratch it. It will hurt more to touch it. 

“Hey.” 

Her head rolls carefully to the door, finding her partner standing there. She just stares at him, a small smile playing at her mouth. 

“Hi.” 

“You in pain?” Jay stops by her bed, letting his hands fall to the rail. 

“I’m alright.” Her attempt at a smile this time isn’t successful as she shifts slightly, and he calls her on it.

“Liar…Hang on.” Jay grabs the extra pillow, the one he’d used last night and carefully slides his hand under the wires and tubes from her chest, and around her upper back. He tucks the pillow behind her and lowers her gently back down.

“Thanks.” 

“Thirsty?” Jay holds the cup out for her and he wonders if the mention of water will set her off again. He still has no clue what that was all about. April told him it was probably just the fever talking, but it still freaked him out. 

“Did we get him?” Hailey sets the cup down on the tray Jay slid across the bed, pausing when another thought occurs to her.

“Danielle? She wasn’t hurt right? I can’t...I don’t really remember what happened when we went inside.” 

Jay watches her brow furrow with confusion, the questions clear in her eyes. At least she’s asking about something he can give her answers on.

“Danielle is okay. She’s back home with her mom and dad. They uh...they were here actually not too long ago. Wanted to thank the person who saved their daughter.” He tries to hide the edge in his voice but it comes through. She’d purposefully put herself in harm's way...nearly succeeding in getting herself killed.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t set out to do that. I...wasn’t trying to.” He’s scared. It’s coming off as anger though. Like when you’re little and accidently go out of your parents' sight at a crowded place. And when they find you, they shout at you for getting separated, yelling at you to never do that again, even though inside, they are really just relieved. Her parents never did anything like that, so she has no first hand experience with that, but it’s happened a couple of times with Jay.  _ Booth...Cameron...Darius... _ He’s yelled at her a lot actually, but she knows it’s because she’d scared him.

He’s staring out her window, down into a tiny courtyard below. He’d be a hypocrite if he said what she did was stupid. What he did when his dad died and then again with Angela, was ten times worse than what she pulled yesterday.

“Jay…”

“I brought you some things from your place.” He turns back to her, but doesn’t go to her. “I’m gonna go let a nurse know that you’re awake.” He can feel her eyes track him as he walks past her bed and out of the room. 

* * *

“You can go.” It’s the first words she has spoken to him since Dr. Marcel came to check on her. 

“What?” Jay looks up from his phone to stare at her. It’s all he seems to be able to do right now. Stare at her.  _ She’s alive… _

“You don’t have to stay. I’m fine. Honestly...you can go.” Her eyes are almost looking into his but instead, focus on a freckle above his right brow. She’s a little afraid of what she will see in his eyes if she looks into them.

Jay stands and shakes his head in disbelief. “You think I want to...that I…”

“I don’t really know what to think anymore.” Her shoulders raise slightly, mirroring the uncertainty of her statement. Her voice is flat...emotionless. They’ve been off for a while and it shows. 

“I’m not leaving. I don’t want to leave, Hailey.” His lips purse into a thin line as he looks towards the door. He’s got a lot he wants to say to her. Things that if he doesn't get out soon, they’ll fester and turn into something ugly. If he could just find a way to tell her, things would get better, he knows they would.

"I’m not the one that wants to go.” 

“I tried to tell you before that I’m….”

“Hey, hey, hey! You’re awake!” Adam, followed by Kim and then Kevin, come barging into the room, oblivious to the tension between Hailey and Jay. No one mentions the speed at which Jay moves from the bedside either. 

“Damn, Hailey...you had us all scared.” Kevin taps his fist against hers, his smile taking up his face. 

“Seriously, Hailey. I’m really glad you’re okay.” Kim nudges Kevin to the side, touching her shoulder. “We’ve all been here on and off, waiting for you to wake up, but Jay...man...I thought they were gonna have to hose him off outside. He refused to leave your side.”

_ Jay hadn’t left her side?  _ Her eyes meet his briefly, finding a small, sheepish smirk on his face. It makes sense...she hadn’t left when he was shot either. That’s what partners do. She shouldn’t over think it. Nothing else to it… _ right? _

“Well...thank God he left for an hour at least. His clothes were worse than mine.” Adam plops onto the foot of her bed, jostling her slightly and she winces in pain.

“Careful!” Jay smacks him none too gently on the back of his head. 

“Jeez…” Adam milks it a little and Hailey chuckles softly at the antics in the room. It’s all so normal. Like a day in the district.

They end up staying for almost 3 hours, finding reruns of Jeopardy on the television and end up watching 3 full episodes. They laugh and talk the entire time, fighting over answers and who won the rounds. There are probably a lot worse ways to spend a night at the hospital, and honestly, she’s glad her team was able to be here. She’s absolutely exhausted when they leave.

“Ugh...did you know your stomach stretches when you yawn?” She’s talking to Jay through the bathroom door as another yawn happens at just the mention of the word, which ends in a groan of pain.

“Looks like I’m just in time for your night time meds.” The night shift nurse injects something into Hailey’s IV line and quickly checks her blood pressure and the rest of her vitals, marking it all down on her charts. She’s gone within 5 minutes of entering her room.

“Hey...Before...when you and I were talking. It sounded like you were gonna say something.” Jay settles on the cot April had snuck in for him as he turns to Hailey.

“I was?” Her brain is foggy with more than just sleep right now. The night time meds are a little stronger so she can rest without pain. “I don’t remember now...are you gonna stay?” Her words sound dreamy, a little slurred as she fights sleep, waiting for him to respond.

“Yeah, Hailey. I’m not leaving...remember?”

“That’s right...me...either…” A smile begins to form even as she gives into the drugs and exhaustion.

She’s asleep before he can ask her what she meant. She says some really crazy things while she’s on pain meds. He wonders if he took the stronger ones, if they’d have the same effect on him. When they start to wean her off them, he’s definitely going to see how much she remembers. 

Right now, all he’s focusing on is the steady beeping of her heart monitor. It shouldn’t be, but he finds it comforting. Every beep reminding him that she’s still here.  _ I still have time. _

* * *

What little sleep Jay manages to get between the images of a bloody and dying Hailey is interrupted by the nurse as she comes in for her rounds throughout the night. The last time he woke up, right around 4:30, Hailey had been awake. She was whispering to the nurse, trying not to wake him.

“Is everything okay?” Jay sits up, rubbing at his face.

“Yep. She’s uhh... just going to change my bandage.” Her fingers play with the stitching on the blanket.

“I’m gonna be a couple of minutes. Why don’t you go out in the hall. I’ll let you know when I’m done.” The nurse sets some steril packages on the tray, waiting for Jay to leave.

“Do you want me to go?” He’ll go if she wants him to, but not because the nurse told him to.

“She’ll just be like 10 minutes Jay. It’s fine. Just go for a bit, okay?” Hailey isn’t even sure she wants to see the wound herself, let alone have Jay look at it. 

“Yeah...okay. I’ll wait outside.” He’s seen the gaping cut on her side already. Seeing it stitched up would probably help him out some, but he can see that she wants some privacy so he heads out, giving her that space.

* * *

It’s long past 10 minutes when Jay finally makes his way back into Hailey’s hospital room. He’s been gone for nearly 2 hours. He’d only meant to run home and grab a charger because he forgot to pack one and refused to pay $20 for a new one here at the gift shop.

While he was at his place, one of the flyers on the fridge caught his eye. It was for JoJos, a place with milkshakes that were to die for, so he heard. He kept it because Hailey had mentioned it a while back and he wanted to try it out plus, it turns out that he knew the owner. Their shake menu is overwhelming and honestly, some of the combinations sound disgustingly sweet to him. Not much is open in Chicago at this time of morning, unless you like super greasy diner food...which he and Hailey have definitely indulged in. But today, he wanted to make sure she could keep it down. Greasy food is probably a ways off still.

So now, after meeting the owner who was unpacking a delivery, Jay had helped unload the rest of the truck in exchange for two shakes. He’s got them in a white bag with some ice packs in it just in case he finds her asleep again. The door isn’t latched so he gently pushes it open and steps inside, waiting for his eyes to adjust.

For a moment, everything is quiet except for the soft hum of the machines in the room. He’s pretty sure she is sleeping and quietly makes his way around the bed to his spot on the other side.

“Jay?” It’s almost comical the way he stops midstep, like he’s been caught sneaking around. 

“Sorry, didn’t mean to wake you. Go back to sleep.” Setting the bag down, he starts to lower himself into his chair, but what comes out of her mouth stops him.

“I didn’t take it.” Her voice is a little scratchy still from earlier. Turns out, it was a very good thing that Jay had disappeared when he did. The bandage had adhered to the incision site and Hailey was embarrassed to even think about it, but she’d cried...quietly of course, but her throat still suffered. The nurse tried to be as gentle as she could, but in the end, 7 stitches had been pulled loose, and needed to be replaced. When it was finally over, Hailey was so tired and emotionally drained that she just wanted to sleep, but the soreness in her stomach wouldn’t allow it. She refused more pain meds because she wanted to have this conversation with Jay while she was fully lucid.

“Hailey?” If she starts talking about water he’s gonna push for a CT for her. His hand reaches out, settling over her forehead checking for signs of fever.

“What are you doing?” His hand is large and warm on her skin and it feels...nice.

“Just checking for fever...maybe seeing if you’ve finally cracked.” He hopes the joke hides some of the fear he’d felt when she first woke up. She’d really scared him with how out of it she was.

“That desperate for a new partner?” Hailey can see by the way his face falls, he clearly missed the sarcasm in her tone. 

“Lighten up, Jay. That was a joke.” 

He doesn’t respond right away, sinking down into the chair instead. He drags his hands over his face, feeling the weight of exhaustion settle in his bones. He’s tired. The kind of tired that makes you cranky and rude. Makes you say things you probably shouldn’t, so he doesn’t even try. He’s spent so much of the last couple of weeks keeping her at a distance that now, it seems too far a gap to bridge. 

“I know you said you were happy for me. That you were proud of me, but I’ve been trying to tell you for weeks now that I didn’t take the offer.” His head lifts and pure relief washes over his features. She could have saved him weeks of uncertainty if he’d only listened to her.

“You're not leaving? I’ve been going out of my mind wondering when you…”

“No. You practically ran away from me every time I tried to bring it up. You don’t get to make this out to be my fault.”

“Okay, first off...I wasn’t trying…”

“Yes you were. You thought acting like a child was a better choice than just talking to me. But then...you’d have to be in the same room as me to do that and we both know you’ve been going out of your way to avoid being alone with me.” Hailey wishes she could at least be having this conversation sitting up. She feels pathetic lying the way she is. It’s an important conversation and she’d rather be anywhere else to have it.

“You’re...right. I’m sorry.” He could say more. Make excuses, but she’s right. There’s no denying that. He pushed her away. He was trying to protect himself when she left.

“We’ve spent years working on this partnership, Jay. You’re one of the best partners I’ve ever had, but more importantly, you're just a good guy. I can rely on you in almost every aspect of my life. Do you know how rare that is? How stupid I’d be to give that up?”  _ Do you get it now? _ She never wanted to leave in the first place. 

“I haven’t been such a good guy to you lately though...It’d be no more than I deserved if you did take it.”

“You really are an idiot sometimes…” There’s a smile hinting at her lips and Jay feigns being hurt by her words. The silence stretches out between them but it's not so unsettling now.

“So uh...how many pizzas and beers is it gonna take for you to forgive me?” He tries to hide his own smile but ends up letting out a burst of laughter when Hailey doesn’t even hesitate with an answer.

“3 months worth. And I don’t mean pizza and beers with the team either. I want  _ our  _ thing. Me and you and either my couch or yours, or it doesn’t count, got it?” That would probably be anywhere from 4-10 times depending on the cases they get and how it affects them. It’s a good start, but then another thought occurs to her. 

“And I want to drive.” She holds his gaze, all traces of a smile gone now.  _ Be serious, Hailey. _

Jay narrows his eyes at her. She does drive. She drives a lot actually, which can only mean one thing. She wants to drive  _ his  _ truck.

“No way…pick something else.” He loves his truck. It’s his baby.

“Come on, Jay...don’t be so dramatic. 3 weeks. I get to drive your truck for 3 weeks.” 

“Mmm...1 day.”

“What? You're supposed to counter with a number that’s only a little lower. 2 weeks?” She gives him a sly smile, hoping to get him on board.

“One day, Hailey...take it or leave it.” He stands up, ready to shake on it.

“A week. Just to and from work. That’s the deal.” 

“So I have to give you rides now too?” Even as he shakes his head, smiling, he grips her hand. “Fine. Deal.” 

“Deal.” Her smile this time is huge and she internally high fives herself for her small victory. 

“You know...I probably would have agreed to the whole 3 weeks if you’d told me first that it was just in and out of the district.” He stares down at her with a smile of his own and lets his thumb rub at her palm. “All joking aside, I’m glad I don’t have to go through getting another partner.” __

“We good?” His fingers squeeze hers a little tighter as he waits.

“Yeah, Jay. We’re good.”

Hailey’s stomach rumbles, interrupting the intimacy of the moment and she laughs along with Jay.

“I almost forgot. This...is for you.” He places the white bag with the milkshakes in it on the bed next to her. “There’s a Caramel Toffee Gold Digger and a Banana Reese’s Pieces Rocky IV shake. Take your pick.” He pulls them out of the bag and lets her see them. They’re the to-go version so they don’t have all the extra stuff on top, but Jay knows they will probably still be good.

Hailey reaches for the banana one as she loves banana and peanut butter, but her hand falters. She also really loves the salty sweetness of toffee.  _ Decisions…decisions… _

Jay watches her try to choose which shake she wants and he’s grinning at her the whole time. He really does know her too well. 

“There’s a third option...” Setting two additional cups that are empty right next to the ones on her tray stand, Jay pops the top on both and dumps half into the new cups. 

“You’re the best partner.” Hailey grabs one of the cups and takes a long pull from the straw. It’s exactly what she wanted.

Jay takes a sip of his own shake, trying to hide the disappointment her statement brought.  _ The best partner... _ That’s him...Her partner. Her friend. It’s a good thing... _ why ruin it? _

* * *

Eight days...that’s how long Hailey’s hospital stay lasts. The infection proved to be a difficult one to kick, even on the intravenous antibiotics. She had a low grade fever up until day 5, and when it didn’t reappear the next day, her doctors were pretty confident the infection was taken care of. They’d kept her for another 48 hours just to be sure. She’d spent most of the last couple of days alone. The team had caught another case and she didn’t hold it against them for not stopping in to see her. They were tired too.

She was leaving today, finally, with a whole bag full of medication, creams, and bandages. April had been by yesterday evening to show her how to change the dressing herself but told her having someone to do it for her would be best. Especially until the wound healed enough that lifting her arms wasn’t painful.

It’s a little difficult to reach the furthest point of the incision on her back. When she tries stretching to apply the cream, her stitches pull, and she has to basically just sort of throw the bandage and hope that it sticks high enough on her back to cover it. It’s what she’s struggling to do right now.

Jay has been sitting for almost 15 minutes listening to Hailey wrestle with the bandages in the bathroom. She had made it pretty clear she could do it herself, and he has a feeling she just really doesn’t want him to see the scar. Every once in a while she will let out a hiss of pain and each time, he scoots a little closer to the edge of his seat, ready to intervene if she needs it.

He finally gives up hoping she’ll just ask him for help at the 25 minute mark. There’s a very loud swear word spoken followed by a decent sized crash and Jay decides enough is enough.

“I’m coming in, Hailey.” He doesn’t give her a chance to argue, just twists the handle and pushes open the door. He’s met with a very angry and flushed looking Hailey. 

“I don’t need your help.” She’d been quick to smooth her shirt down before he entered, but she still feels like he can see her. As if seeing her in this state will make him second guess her abilities.

“I know you don’t want my help, but I’m here...just let me. Plus, Voight only gave me an extra hour for lunch today.” It was the wrong thing to say. Very, very wrong. He’d meant it as a joke, but she gets even angrier.

“So go back to work, Jay. I didn’t even ask you to come pick me up.” She starts to move past him out of the small bathroom, but he stops her with a hand on her arm.

“Yeah...imagine my surprise when my brother calls and tells me I’m a terrible person for making my partner take an Uber home from the hospital.” He’d been furious still when he walked into the hospital after asking his boss for the rest of the day to get Hailey settled.

“It’s not a big deal. People do it everyday. What’s the difference if I do?” She hadn’t wanted to bother him if she’s being truthful. After the day they sort of hashed everything out, Hailey had thought they might have made a breakthrough in their ever evolving relationship, but that wasn’t the case. When Jay was able to get away from work to sit with her, he treated her like she was one of the guys. It wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. She’s glad to have her friend back, but it wasn’t the direction she had hoped they would go either.

“Those people don’t have anyone, Hailey. You do.” His fingers flex on her bicep and for a brief moment, he imagines himself literally shaking some sense into her.

“I don’t want you to see it…” All the fight leaves her body as she realizes she can’t win this argument. He’s not going to let it go. 

Jay lets out a breath slowly, his hand moving from her arm to just beneath her chin, tipping it so he can see her eyes. 

“I hate to break it to you, but I’ve seen it, and it was a hell of a lot worse at the time.” He doesn’t need to tell her it was after it happened, with her blood oozing up between his fingers. He can see recognition flash in her eyes. He’d already seen the worst of it.

Without speaking, Hailey turns to the sink, passing him the cream on the counter. She lifts her shirt up over her back, exposing the garish scar and her eyes watch his in the mirror for any signs of revulsion from him. Dr. Marcel had done the sutures in a way that he assured her would keep the scarring to a minimum, but in doing so, he had needed to place nearly 8 sutures an inch. The total number of stitches visible was 53.

“Just um...cover the stitches with the cream and then the bandage.” 

Jay nods, grabbing a paper towel to wipe away some of the cream Hailey had gotten in the wrong spots. He apologizes when her body jerks forward at the first touch of his hand against the scar.

“Just keep going. It’s okay.” Jay can hear the pain in her voice and he hurries to apply the rest of the cream and then pulls the bandage in place, wrapping it around her hip.

“All done.” Jay tugs her shirt from her fingers, pulling it gently down over her bandage, but he lets his fingers rest there at her waist, eyes watching hers in the mirror. His chest isn’t touching her back, but they’re close enough that he can feel some of her body heat. He just stares at her, always watching her.

Hailey breaks eye contact first, whispering a thank you, and then quickly starts to clean up the old bandage and the discarded wrappers. He was looking at her the way he does sometimes. Where there’s not a word spoken between them but somehow an entire conversation is had with just their eyes. She can tell that he wants her to know he’s here for her, but the emotion she catches in his eyes makes her think that maybe he’s just here  _ for  _ her. It’s too much to think about now. 

Jay clears his throat and steps back, exiting the bathroom. That was...intense.  _ Had he spooked her? _

“I’m good to go.” Hailey joins Jay by the bed and picks up her discharge papers, knowing it’s the only thing he’d let her carry. She wasn’t to do any lifting for a couple of weeks and Jay was going to take that very, very seriously.

They walk side by side out to Jay’s truck and Hailey is relieved that her side didn’t pull at all on the way out here. She’d done some walking over the last week, but not very long. 

“Hang on a second and I’ll boost you in.” Jay tosses her bags into the backseat and then rounds the front of the car. He’s expecting an argument but Hailey is just waiting patiently for him and he stops, thinking about the best way to get her in his truck.

“Jay…” 

“Sorry. I think the best way would be for you to wrap your arms around my neck and I’ll lift at your legs. If I try to lift under your arms or lift you bridal style, your stitches are gonna pull.” He opens her door and then crowds into her space, setting her arms over his shoulders.

“Just hold onto me. Don’t try to lift your weight, okay? Ready?” He doesn’t get an answer so he goes ahead and dips his legs slightly so he can wrap his arms just under her bottom. He places her in the seat with no issues, sliding his hands from under her.

Hailey lets out a shaky breath, feeling the warmth of it hit back against her face. She’s pressed against Jay’s neck and his palms are warm against her outer thighs.

“Thank you for showing up today. I promise to call next time.” Without overthinking it, Hailey brushes her lips quickly against the stubble at his jaw and then twists around in the seat, distancing herself from him.

Jay quirks a brow at her, shocked to feel her lips against his skin. She’d been so close to his lips...so close. Stepping back, he’s about to close her door when her words make him pause. 

“Hey…” He reaches out, turning her head to meet his gaze, completely uncaring that they don’t touch like this...not until recently, anyway. “Maybe  _ next time  _ could have zero hospital stays and like...I don’t know...require a butterfly bandage, max?” His fingers linger for a moment, a grin on his lips, and then he’s closing her door and climbing in the driver's seat.

“Let’s get you home.”

* * *

The first thing Hailey does when she gets home is shower. Sure...she’d gotten to shower at the hospital, but there’s nothing like your own shower. Jay had helped put a waterproof covering on the bandage and now, with the warm water cascading over her scalp, she just soaks it in. Her shower is easily double the time it normally is. She has to force herself to shut the water off. Jay was making something to eat and she couldn’t avoid him forever.

That moment in the hospital bathroom, and then again in the truck play over in her head. She had thought it was just her. That she was the only one with feelings, but he let his guard slip and she felt it. What exactly she felt, she isn’t sure, but it was definitely there. Maybe he’s just as tired as she is of fighting the pull between them.  _ Would it really be so bad if they just...gave in? _

“Hailey? You almost ready?” He’s just inside her bedroom door and waits for her to respond. “You need help taking off the…” The bathroom door opens, Hailey emerging with a billowing cloud of steam at her back. It’s a scene straight out of a movie and he’s completely speechless. He shouldn’t look, but he can’t help it. Her face is flushed from the warmth of the shower and her skin has that just scrubbed, dewy look to it.  _ Gorgeous... _

She’s wrapped in a fluffy blue towel, wringing her hair with another one. When she finally looks up and sees him, shock takes over her.

“What are you doing?”  _ Jesus... _ What if she had come out without a towel on? Her fingers fall to the knot between her breasts, holding it tight just in case.

“Sorry...I...sorry.” He spins around to leave, nearly smacking into the door frame in the process.

“Did you need something?” Her lips pull to the side, trying to suppress a full out laugh.

“Ah...nope. No...I’ll see you downstairs.” Jay taps the frame on his way out and leaves Hailey laughing softly at him.

She enters the kitchen a short time later in black leggings and an old tshirt that’s a couple sizes too big. 

“Smells good.” She carefully sits at the table, her eyes tracking him as he plates the pizza he’d made. She thanks him when he sets hers in front of her, but instead of sitting down, he moves behind her.

“Will says not to leave these ones on for too long. It needs to breathe.” That’s why he had gone upstairs. He wanted to make sure she took it off.

Hailey sucks in a breath, goosebumps forming where his fingertips brush her skin. It takes maybe 20 seconds total, but she can still feel his hands even after he’s sitting across from her.

“You know this doesn’t count towards the deal, right? I’m not allowed to drink until I’m done with the antibiotics. The deal was pizza  _ and  _ beer.”

Jay smiles at that, his head tipping slightly to the side. “You act like it’s such a hardship to spend time with you.”

“Yeah, well...we haven’t exactly hung out in a while. I wasn’t sure you’d even still want to.” Not exactly the dinner conversation she would have liked, but she’s been thinking about it for awhile now.

“Hey.” His fingers reach out, wanting to grab hers, but he stops himself, lifting his drink instead. “We’ve established I’m an idiot already…” His phone rings before he can say anything further.

“Work?” Her smile falters, knowing he’s going to leave. “Go...I’ll be fine, Jay.” 

“Do I need to find you a babysitter? Or can I trust that you won’t do anything stupid?” 

“ _ I  _ can follow medical advice... _ you  _ on the other hand…” She leaves her statement open, standing to put her plates in the sink.

Jay shakes his head at her back. She’s not wrong...out of the two of them, he’s definitely the one to go against medical advice. 

“Call me if you need anything, okay?” Jay stands there for a moment longer, wishing he didn’t have to leave. When Hailey sort of flicks her hand in response, he takes it as his cue to leave. 

* * *

She’s going stir crazy being stuck inside, not allowed to do anything. She’s watched more hours of television in the last 4 days than she has this entire year. People that are used to being on the go, constantly having something that stimulates their mind, should not be left alone to themselves for long periods of time. She can’t handle it. She’s losing her mind. 

“Just forget it. I’ll do it myself.” She snaps, stomping up the stairs. It’s late and she’s tired, and there’s the whole losing your mind thing coming into play too, but she can’t take it. Jay seems to be taking his good old time cleaning up from dinner and all she wants to do is get the bandage changed so she can sleep because at least asleep, she isn’t bored.

“I didn’t realize you were on a timed schedule tonight.” She’s been short with him all night and he gets it...really, he does. When he wasn’t allowed to do anything, he’d been a little insufferable himself, but he’s pretty sure he didn’t take it out on her. 

He can hear her mumble something under her breath that would make him blush to repeat, but he follows her into the bathroom without a word. She’s already starting on removing the bandage.

“Stop.” Jay stills her hands with his and places them face down on the counter. He doesn’t release her hands right away, not until he feels her settle some.

“Just change the bandage, Jay. I’m tired.”

“You don’t say?” His sarcasm sets her teeth on edge. He can probably feel how tense she just went as he finishes with the bandage. She wants to scream. She needs to get out of here.

“If you’re sick of me, I can see if Kim can come stay with you.” 

“I’m not sick of you. I’m sick of  _ this _ . I can’t do anything, Jay. You leave for work every day and I...don’t. I need to do something. I need to get out of this stupid apartment.” She tugs her hair, shoving it behind her ears, frustration painting every move she makes.

“Yeah...You realize you’re not even a week into your recovery right?” His arms cross over his chest as he leans against the doorway. 

“Not helping, Jay.” She can’t flop onto the bed in a flair of dramatics like she wants, it’s more of an old lady log rolling situation.

“I’ll uh...see what I can do, okay?” He does feel bad for her, and he knows how crazy he had gone after getting shot. Maybe he can convince Voight to let her come in for a couple hours once or twice a week. 

“Thanks.” Hailey pulls the comforter up and gives him a smile. 

“Night, Hailey.” He leaves with a smile of his own, a plan for the next couple of days already forming.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!

“North is not a place, Jay.” Hailey glares at his profile from her seat in his truck. He won’t tell her where they are going, just keeps repeating ‘north.’ He’s trying his best to surprise her, but surprises are not her thing. Not even a little bit. Surprises for her are not the same thing they are for other people. 

“Tell me  _ north  _ one more time and I swear to you, I can’t be held accountable for my actions.”

“You know...here I am. Trying to be a nice guy, and get you out of your place, and this is how you thank me? Threatening me...nice, Hailey.” The amusement is clear in his voice and if he wasn’t scared of her reaction right now, he’d tell her she was pretty adorable when she was angry.

“Thank you for doing this…” The way she grits it out tells him how little control she has right now, and then he’s watching as her eyes close tightly for a moment. She’s breathing through something. Something that makes her fists clench and unclench against her thighs. Jay doesn’t even hesitate, doesn’t stop to think about how out of character it is for them to touch. He just reaches over and grabs her left fist, gently prying her fingers open.

“Are you really mad?” She doesn’t answer him, only continues to breathe slowly, staring straight ahead.

“What’s going on?” Her head tips back and he can see the way her throat is working like she wants to tell him, but maybe doesn’t quite know how.

“I’m...sorry. I’m not a fan of surprises, Jay. It’s not you, I promise.” Her eyes land on his again and in them he can see whatever memory she’d gone to, fading.

“Alaska.” He blurts it out, beyond relieved when she cracks a smile at his outburst.

“Alaska?” Whether he’s joking or not, he’d managed to pull her back from what could have been a really embarrassing moment for her. 

“Alaska, Wisconsin. That’s where we are going. I’ve got a cabin up there.” He doesn’t want to, but he’s driving, so he breaks eye contact with her, looking out at the road ahead of them.

“You’re taking me to your cabin?” She vaguely remembers him telling her he had a cabin, but she didn’t expect him to bring her here. 

“Thank you, Jay.” Her gratitude is sincere this time and she squeezes his hand once more before she lets it go.

“So uh...surprises?” He waits until they have driven in silence for a bit before he brings it up. There’s a pretty good chance that she won’t answer, but not asking will nag at him. She’s quiet for so long he’s certain she just isn’t going to respond, but just as he starts to turn up the radio, she finally speaks.

“I’ve never liked surprises. Never got the appeal of them.” Hailey rests her forehead against the window, watching the trees blur past. She's going to tell him. She just wishes there wasn't a need to. If she had it her way, she would tell him to keep driving. Keep going until the city of Chicago and all the bad that it holds is forgotten. What she wants from that city is right here in the truck anyway.

“Beatings.” She chances a look at him, knowing she's stalled enough, but aside from the way his fingers tighten on the steering wheel, he doesn’t react. It makes it easier to continue. “The surprises I am familiar with...the ones I grew up with, they all involved beatings.” Her palms smooth out an imaginary wrinkle in her leggings, once again feeling slightly exposed. “We don’t have to make a big deal about it, and we don’t really need to talk about it. I just...now you know.” 

He’s silent for a while...miles, actually. He could say a lot of things in response to what she just told him. He could ask her more about it, try and find out how bad things really were for her. He could come up with a joke for the situation, always wanting to make her smile, but what comes out...what he says to her is not what he planned.

“For the record...I hate your dad.” Her response is simple and she wonders if he feels the newly formed link in their bond.

“Me too.” It’s calm and a little sad and she wants to thank him for not pushing...for not demanding more from her, but she keeps her eyes trained ahead. He lets her know there’s still over 2 hours left of the drive, telling her to just relax.

“Enjoy the ride, Hailey.”

* * *

“Wow...This is not at all what I was expecting when you mentioned a cabin.” Hailey sets her pillow on the couch in the main room and does a slow turn, taking in the place. 

Wood. Gleaming and warm, the entire cabin is finished in it. It’s cozy and inviting and even though she’s done nothing but sit around since the injury, the love seat in front of the fire is calling her name.

“Yeah, my grandfather built this place. It started as just this main section here, and then when I was around 7 or 8, he started adding on.” It’s not huge by any standard, but it’s got two bedrooms, a large kitchen that opens into the living room, and most importantly, running water. 

“I’ll show you the best part.” Jay turns to the stairs that lead to the original bedroom, which was a lofted room, and waits for Hailey to follow him. Bypassing the bed, Jay walks right for the large double doors, swinging them open with a flourish.

“I give you...my favorite view.” He watches her face, wanting to capture the moment she takes in this part of who he is. A part he doesn’t share with a lot of people.

The view is breathtaking. It reminds her of one of the Thomas Kincade paintings you see in the shops at the mall. The cabin is nestled in a small clearing that is completely surrounded by trees. The only openings are for the driveway and a narrow trail leading down to the lake.

“Jay, this is...beautiful.” They are on a balcony that covers the back side of the cabin and it even has a small fire pit up here. “Your grandfather did an amazing job with this place.” She leans her arms against the railing, still in awe of the view.

“He did. Will and I did some little things here and there over the years, but for the most part, it was all him. Come on, you can have first pick of the rooms.” 

“I want this one.” She wants to wake up and walk out there with a cup of coffee and just sit all morning. 

“You sure? The bed in the room downstairs is one of those therapeutic beds. It adjusts and has warming and cooling elements. It vibrates too.” 

“What on earth do you think I’d need a bed that adjusts and vibrates for?” She couldn’t resist teasing him, especially after she saw the way his cheeks turned pink when he stopped talking.

“Nope...not gonna touch that one.” Her laughter follows him the whole way back down the stairs, knowing he set himself up for that one.

* * *

After dinner, Jay watches Hailey through the window over the kitchen sink. She’s on the porch swing on the far side of the cabin and he can just see her ponytail every time she back swings. There had been a lot of joking and laughter as they ate, and Jay can’t remember a meal he’s enjoyed more. He craves her company. Silence, talking, laughing, hell...even fighting, he just wants to be around her. He hates to think about what’s going to happen when she doesn’t need him to change her bandages anymore. When she no longer needs him.

“Hey. You almost done?” He hadn’t seen her move, too lost in his thoughts, but she’s behind him in the kitchen now so he turns to face her.

“Done. Ready to do your bandage?” She nods and they move into the bathroom where all her things are laid out on the counter.

“Alright, I’m all yours. Have at it.” His fingers pause on the hem of her shirt and she’s ready for him to give her some sort of dirty response because unintentionally, she had just sounded extremely suggestive, but he doesn’t. He doesn’t speak for a long time.

This bathroom isn’t that tiny, but he still crowds her space, getting close enough that his breaths move the hair at her neck. Something about being up here, just the two of them, feels right. It feels like all the reasons they won't cross the line they’ve so carefully drawn back in Chicago, no longer exist. 

He steps even closer to her, his eyes on hers the whole time. He’s too close to do anything with the back of the bandage, but he can get to the front in this position, so that’s what he does. He starts sliding his fingers back under her shirt, boldly letting his knuckles drag over the soft skin over her hip, just above the top of her leggings.

Any second, she’s going to stop him. He’s sure she is going to tell him to knock it off, but like him, she’s silent, her whole body strung tight in anticipation. She says nothing. Not when his fingers brush against the skin at her waist, pulling her shirt up. Not when his palm skims across her stomach, tugging at the edge of the bandage there. Not even when his thumb accidentally grazes the underside of her breast. 

They both freeze. Hailey sucks in a breath at the unexpected touch, her eyes finding his in the mirror. Their size difference is obvious at this moment. His large hand is splayed across her stomach, almost big enough to span the entire width. 

_ She exhaled... _ She exhaled and now his fingers are still in the exact same spot, almost as if he’s waiting. Waiting for permission...For her to do it again...For her to laugh in his face...yell at him.  _ Exhale… _

How long can she hold her breath? It’s been 15 seconds already. A minute? A little more? She knows what’s going to happen the minute she exhales. Would it be the end of the world if she let him keep going? 

His pinky finger shifts lower, the nail of it just sneaking under her waistband. She solves the problem of what’s going to happen when she finally exhales by leaning back into him, causing his hand to slide down her stomach slightly, and the back of her head comes to rest on his shoulder.

“Tell me to stop.” Jay speaks right into her ear, but he swears it echoes inside the bathroom. 

“Jay…” His fingers are moving again, so minuscule she can hardly feel it, but she sees it in the mirror, the way the pads of his fingers press and release on her skin.

“Tell me to stop Hailey, because I can’t...I don’t want to.” Stopping is the last thing on his mind. He’s been fighting this for so long and right now, he can’t think of a single reason they shouldn’t be doing this. The connection of their eyes in the mirror is no longer enough so he turns her, his left hand cupping her face.

“What if...what if I didn’t? What if you don’t stop, Jay?” Her own hands find their way to his chest, and she swallows thickly when she finds his heart is pounding just as wildly as hers. 

Instead of answering, Jay slides his hand to the back of her neck, pulling her closer to him. He breathes out her name when her fingers clutch the fabric of his shirt.  _ This is it...this is really happening. _

Just as his lips begin to brush against hers, the shrill ringing of his phone intervenes. He jerks back from her, his back hitting the wall with a thud. He doesn’t want to answer it. He wants to scream at whoever is on the other end of that call.  _ They were so close... _

“It’s Will.” His phone’s on the counter where he set it when he walked in and she can see his brother’s face lighting up the screen.

With a groan of annoyance, Jay reluctantly picks up the offending object and swipes the answer feature on his phone. 

“Hey man...you’re on speaker. What’s up?” Better to tell Will in case he blurts something out about Hailey. He wanted to stop her from leaving the bathroom, stop her from running from this, but he’s afraid of pushing her too soon.

“Hi, Will.” Her voice sounds a little off, but hopefully he won’t notice. She couldn’t stay in the bathroom, but she didn’t really want to leave either, so she’s just sitting on the edge of the bed, watching Jay.

“What’s wrong with you guys?” Will pauses, talking to someone with him before he returns to their conversation. “You sound weird.”

“Nothing’s wrong, I was just trying to change her bandage. Did you need something?” His brother always has the worst timing…the absolute worst.

“Changing a bandage... _ sure.  _ I was trying to catch you before you guys got there, but I got pulled into a surgery. Even with the waterproof bandage, it’s not a good idea to go into the lake, Hailey. You already struggled with the infection at the hospital. If you get bacteria from the lake in there, it could get really bad.” 

“It’s the middle of May, Will. No one’s going into the water unless it’s an accident.” The annoyance is clear in his voice, and Jay just wants to end the call so he can focus on Hailey again. So he can talk about what just happened here.

“What your brother means is ‘Thank you.’” She shoots Jay a look, telling him to be nice, waiting for Will to say goodbye.

“Alright, well...just be careful…” There’s silence on the other end of the line like he’s moving into a quieter place, and then he clears his throat.

“Will...we’re kind of in the middle of something here and I need both hands...so if that’s all…” Jay starts, but Will cuts him off.

“Six to eight weeks of no physical activity means no activity of any kind...including the sexual kind. Jay’s just going to have to wait to dazzle you with that fancy bed of his, Hailey.”

“Jesus, Will...goodbye.” Jay hangs up on his brother, cutting off his laughter. He’s completely embarrassed, and maybe if he hadn’t just interrupted a possible life changing moment, he’d find it funny too.

“Sorry about him. He’s...Will. Just ignore him.” Jay attempts to smile, but doesn’t quite manage it. He’s more nervous right now than when he’d been about to kiss her.  _ Stupid Will... _

“Hey...why  _ do  _ you have such a fancy bed?” She’s not ignoring what happened, but a part of her thinks if Will hadn't interrupted them, the conversation about what this all means would have been a lot easier. __ She sees his eyes go a little sad and she wishes she could take the question back. She’s genuinely surprised though, when he doesn’t even hesitate in his answer.

“I uh...went through a period where I couldn’t sleep.” Jay holds his hand out for her, instantly relieved when she takes it, joining him once again in the bathroom. He gathers his thoughts while he starts applying the cream to her back. She had shared something with him today, so it’s only fair if he gives her this. He knows she wouldn’t hold it against him if he didn’t though.

“Right after I came back from my last tour. One of my buddies that...he made it back with me, he told me to try one.” He had dropped 4 grand on a bed. He complained about it the entire time they were setting it up, but the second his head hit the pillow that night, he’d just passed out. It didn’t cure him of his insomnia instantly, but he definitely was able to get at the very least 4 hours a night with it. He spent almost 3 full months after he returned up here.

“So you’re saying I chose the wrong bed?” As hoped, a fraction of a smile appears from him, and she thanks him after he pulls her shirt down. He’s talked about his PTSD before, but like him, she won’t ever push him to talk to her. 

“Yep...it’s too late, no backsies.” He’s full out grinning at her now as he steps out of the bathroom after her. She’s moving them back into safer territory and as much as he wants to ask her about it, he doesn’t. It seems like they are right back to doing what they do best...pretending.

“What are you, like 5? Let me try it out at least.” Hailey pretends to pout, pumping her fist when he relents. He laughs at her as she does her now signature, old lady log roll onto the bed.

“Come on. Show me what it does.” She can feel the heat creeping up her neck at her words, which causes Jay to burst out laughing this time. He’s still catching his breath when he lays on the far side of the bed, rolling so he’s looking at her.

“Oh wow...This was a mistake.” She turns on her right side to face him, tucking her arm under her head. “You’re gonna have to force me out of here.” She lets out a sigh as Jay presses a button on the remote he pulled from the drawer and she swears her body just melts into the mattress. 

“That’s the zero gravity setting. Pretty awesome, right?” Another press of the button has a soft humming filtering through the room. He turned the vibration function on. 

“Oh God…” She’s never felt anything like this before. She feels like she’s wrapped up in a cloud and the gentle vibration somehow makes her feel warm and fuzzy.

“Hailey?” Jay’s voice is just one more thing that’s soft and warm right now, and it takes everything in her to peel her eyes open and look at him.

“Yeah?” She hadn’t felt him move, but he’s much closer now than he was a second ago. 

“In the bathroom...If Will hadn’t called...Would you have stopped me?”

Letting out a long breath, Hailey turns back so she’s looking up at the ceiling.  _ Would she have stopped him?  _ She doesn’t think she would have, but she doesn’t know what he wants her answer to be. Maybe he wanted her to stop him.

“I don’t know…” She waits for him to say something, but all she hears is his breathing...and disappointment.  _ Even his breaths are disappointed in her. _

She starts to get out of the bed, wanting to escape the awkwardness between them, but Jay decides to finally speak.

“Stay here tonight...I’ll sleep upstairs.” Really, she should have the better bed, seeing as how she’s the injured one and all. Without giving her a chance to respond, he flicks off the light and tells her goodnight, practically running from the room.

* * *

Jay barely sleeps that night. He spends a majority of it going over what he could have said last night instead of making it seem like she needed to be the one to define what was happening. He wanted her to tell him to stop, but only because  _ he  _ didn’t have any intentions of stopping. He should have told her that. He can still tell her that, but there’s a pretty good chance she’s closed herself off already. It’s what they do. One of them gets a little too close...shares a little too much, and then because they’ve made themselves vulnerable, they need to pull back. Cool off until things aren’t so intense anymore. He’s tired of doing that though. 

Scrubbing his hands over his face, Jay sits up and wonders how to bring it up again. His feet just touch the floor when a thud followed by a muffled curse travels up the stairs. He thinks about calling out to her, but the sound of the back door opening and closing hits him next, and he heads to the balcony doors. He catches a flash of his bright red windbreaker and her blonde hair just as she disappears around the curve on the trail.

He takes his time getting dressed and brushing his teeth, knowing she can’t completely disappear on him. She just went to the lake. She probably wants time alone to think through things, but Hailey and alone time can be a very bad thing. 

She’s been down by the water for almost 20 minutes when he finally steps off the trail and onto the pebbled beach. It’s still pretty cold in the mornings up here, plus the wind off the lake, so he zips his jacket up to ward off the chill. He doesn’t go to her right away, just stays back watching her. 

* * *

She hates to say it, but she’d slept like a rock last night. She was certain she’d be up tossing and turning all night thinking about almost kissing Jay. Jay...her partner and best friend...her lifeline. 

She has no idea how she can do the job she does, running towards danger on the daily, and yet be too cowardly to just tell Jay how she feels. He already knows more about her than anyone, and he gets her. She gets him. She’s gonna bring it up...as soon as she works up the courage to.

For now though, she’s just gonna enjoy this day. She hadn’t made it down here in time for the sunrise, but it’s still beautiful. She’d stepped out of the trail and had just stopped, staring out at the horizon. She can’t think of what, but this place reminds of something.

“How’s the water?” Jay’s voice floats to her over the sound of the wind and the most intense feeling of deja vu washes over her.

“What did you say?” Images are flashing inside of her head so quickly that no matter how hard she tries, she can't seem to slow them down. She can't tell what's happening but certain things are familiar. It’s her and Jay. At this exact spot. 

“I’ve been here before…” She rubs at her temple, unsure of what’s happening. An entire conversation is happening in her head and she can tell she’s scaring Jay.

“Hailey, what’s…”

“What’s your favorite color?” She steps back as he steps closer. “Jay, what’s your favorite color?” She’s starting to panic. How could she have been here before? 

“Green. Green and light blue.” He’d always loved green, but over the last couple of years, he’s gotten pretty attached to blue. The color of her eyes.

“I knew that. The green part anyways. You told me that.” He probably thinks she means they talked about it at work or something, but she means here.

“You and I sat right here, and I asked you what your favorite color was. You gave me ice cream...I’ve been here before.”

“Okay...just...take a breath, Hailey. Maybe you dreamt about it last night and that’s why you know this place.” He’s just trying to keep her from fully freaking out.

“But we didn’t come down here yesterday. How could I know what this place looks like?” 

“That’s easy…” The hairs on the back of his neck start to stand even as he’s trying to reason away the absurdity of her words. “There are pictures all over the cabin of the lake. You probably just don’t remember looking and you subconsciously remembered it while you were sleeping.” It sounds ridiculous to him too, but what other explanation could there be? He’s about to tell her that when something pops into his mind.

When she woke up in the hospital, she had started freaking out about a lake. She couldn’t remember why she was in the hospital and kept asking about the lake.  _ This lake? It couldn’t… _

“You died. Did you know that?” She’s still trying to calm herself down and when she looks up at him, the same confusion and anguish he’s feeling is evident in her eyes. “You were clinically dead for almost a minute. 57 seconds. They shocked your heart twice before they got you back.” He won’t ever forget what he felt as he stood there watching them work on her. He was sure he’d never see her alive again. Never see her eyes twinkling with mischief as she teased him. Never get the chance to tell her that even if they never take that step to be  _ more,  _ that she was it for him.

“I...I remember." Her palm rubs at her forehead, trying to make sense of this. "You told me I had to go back. I just kept thinking that I wanted to come back here, and now, here we are.” She remembers standing on the rocks here, him telling her she couldn’t stay here and then there had been nothing but pain. A burning in her stomach, and an icy stinging pain in her chest. She turns her back to him, facing the water, trying to make sense of everything. “Believe me...I can hear how crazy I sound, but I’m telling you...I was here.” She closes her eyes against the whispering in her head.  _ What about me…come back... _ How could she have forgotten?

“I...crazy or not...I believe you, Hailey.” He steps closer to her so his elbow touches hers and they both stare out at the water. 

“What do you think it means?” 

“Mmm...probably means they’re gonna make a movie about you.” Jay’s small laugh is cut off when her elbow shoots into his side. He realizes that right now is probably not the best time to try and joke with her, but he couldn’t resist. His arm snakes out, mindful of her injury, pinning her against his side when she tries to walk away. Neither of them is running right now. They are going to have this conversation right here, right now.

“I don’t know what it means for you, but for me...nearly losing you? It was a wake up call, and I’ve been trying to figure out a way to tell you something, but it never feels right...something always gets in the way.” 

“So tell me now. There’s nothing getting in the way here.” Hailey steps out of his hold, moving back some so she can look up at him.

“Yeah...okay, yeah.”  _ Here it goes. _ “Last night, in the bathroom, I don’t think you would have stopped me. I think you’re just as invested in what comes next for us as I am, and I  _ want  _ what comes next, Hailey...I want it. It’s all I can think about anymore.” He reaches out, touching the coolness of her cheek. “I don’t want to fight it anymore, and I’m pretty sure you don’t want to either...but if I’m wrong...If this is just me then…”

Hailey stops him by pressing her lips to his. It’s brief and her lips are cold and tingling from the wind, but it accomplished what she wanted. She shocked him into silence.

“It’s not just you.” She barely has the words out before his lips are on hers again. His hands tangle in her hair, pulling her tight against him and she stretches up on her tiptoes to get to him, her own arms winding around his neck. 

“Totally worth it…” Hailey smiles against his lips, laughing a little when he looks down at her in slight confusion. “Sorry...Just thinking out loud.” She’s thinking about Platt...about the conversation they once had in the locker room. She keeps it to herself though because at the time, it was in reference to Adam, but she knows without a doubt that Jay was worth the risk. 

“We should head back.” He doesn’t want to, but if he’s cold, she’s probably freezing, so he steps back from her, taking hold of her hand.

“Uh, Jay…” 

“Not for that...jeez...someone’s very sure of themselves.” He smirks at her, tugging her in the direction of the trail and back to the cabin. “Don’t get me wrong...I want to, and we will, but you can’t and I really don’t need another reminder from my brother...Do you?” 

He keeps her hand in his until they get back inside then reaches for the zipper on the windbreaker she’d grabbed. Hailey thanks him and then steps out of the little mud room, leaving Jay to take his shoes and jacket off.

“It’s too bad…”

“What?” He stops beside her, wondering what she means and then he’s laughing. She’s staring into the bedroom at the bed.

“Don’t worry, Hailey. We can always come back. And for the record, I don’t need a fancy bed to do the things I want to do to you.” 

“Yeah...you’re right. Doesn’t mean we won’t though…” His laughter hits her right in the chest and she presses her ear over his heart when he pulls her into him. 

* * *

**4 Months Later**

“You almost ready?” Hailey hums out a response while twisting sideways in front of the mirror. He’s seen her naked a hundred times over already, but for some reason, the idea of him seeing her this way, makes her nervous. 

Her fingers trace over the slightly raised silvery pink scar on her side, and her mind conjures up images of what it looked like the last time they were here. It is infinitely better than before, but a scar that’s over 6 inches long is going to be noticeable no matter what she does.

Letting out a small sigh, she pulls on a pair of jean shorts and a tank top before joining Jay on the back porch. She slides her hand into his like it’s something they’ve done forever instead of only a couple months. 

This will be the last day they get to come up here before the dock gets taken out. They had tried multiple times over the summer to make it up to his cabin, but a case always kept them in the city. This is the first weekend they both have had off in a very long time.

“Wish we could have come up sooner. There are some pretty awesome sailboats on the water in the summers. Me and Will used to stay out on the dock for hours making up stories about how they were pirates.” Jay laughs at the memory, wondering if the hole they had dug while looking for buried treasure was still around here.

“Maybe next summer the criminals in Chicago will take a few days off.” It’s wishful thinking, but she can still hope.

“Already planning ahead to next summer…?” Jay grins back at her as they step off the trail and make their way onto the dock.

“Yeah...I uh, guess I am.” She shoots him a quick smile before she tosses her towel onto one of the chairs set up, and then she reaches for the hem of her tank top.

He had wanted to tell her that he likes the way she's planning ahead, that she thinks about future plans for them. It would be a pretty weighted statement coming from either of them considering how long it took to get where they are today. The fact that she felt comfortable enough to say it out loud...to not joke it off, tells him she’s right there with him in this relationship. 

He’d tell her all this...only...she’s stripping right in front of him and as usual, he can’t get his mouth to form words. She’s wearing a teeny tiny black bikini, that honestly...all he can think about now is taking it off her. She’s trying to kill him...

“What?” Hailey folds her tank top and sets it down in the bag she brought. She wonders if there will ever come a time where the way he looks at her will no longer make her heart beat wildly. She hopes not.

Jay just shakes his head when she shimmies out of her shorts, smiling to himself as he pulls his own shirt over his head. He reaches for the sunscreen and hands it to her, both silent as she smooths it over his back.

“Your turn.” Jay turns her around so he can do her back and he pauses for a second, letting his eyes roam her body. His hands rub the sunscreen in his palms to warm it up before he presses them to her skin. How she had managed to hide her body under the jeans and flannel she wore, he will never know, but a part of him likes that as of right now...he’s the only one who gets to see her like this.

“You keep touching me like that, we won’t last very long out here.” The combination of the sun, the wind off the lake, and his hands, have tiny goosebumps breaking out across her body. 

It takes him a moment to realize that he had been sliding his hands under her top, his fingers dancing over the sensitive skin there. After an apology that she can tell he couldn’t mean less, he tugs her back against him, pressing her back to his chest.

“You know...I may have some plans for you too, Hailey.” He lets his lips graze her temple as the fingers of his left hand drag slowly over her scar. He touches it a lot. Not to draw attention to it, but to let her know it doesn’t bother him...not at all.

“Oh yeah?” Hailey turns in his arms, winding her own around his neck. “That’s good...really good, because I…” She takes a moment to search his eyes, looking for any reason that she shouldn’t say what she’s about to. All she sees is warmth and trust and maybe something bigger. Something he’s waiting for her to say first.

“I love you, Jay.” A second later, she’s completely crushed against him as he kisses her. There’s a slight tremble in the breath he lets out against her lips and she knows he wasn’t expecting her to say that. If they were going on their timeline, ‘I love yous’ were still a ways off. There’s just something about being up here, in this place that showed her she could have more if she only found the courage to take it. This place...the lake...his cabin...maybe they both are crazy for believing it held the secret to bringing them together, but she doesn’t care. 

“So you love me...huh?” He leans her back, a massive grin spreading across his face. “You sure? Cause you can’t take it back now.” He takes a tiny step forward, moving them both. He waits for her to nod, and then he’s saying ‘good’ at the same time he shoves her backwards off the end of the dock. He jumps in after her, laughing as she comes up cursing him.

“You really are the…”

“Yeah, yeah...I’m the worst…” He grabs her ankle when she starts to swim away, pulling her back to him. 

“Hey.” Some of her hair escaped her top knot so he holds her around the waist, supporting them both while he pushes the pieces out of her eyes. He holds her tighter when she tries to move away from him.

“I love you too, you know that, right?” He feels her whole body relax, like she’d been afraid he didn’t feel the same way.

“So uh...these plans of yours...do they involve the bed?” 

“Oh yeah.” She’s laughing even as he kisses her. Why had they fought this for so long? Why had it felt like it was an impossible situation when in reality, deciding to take that step had been the easiest decision either of them had ever made? She can’t think of a place she’d rather be right now...anyone she’d rather be with. 

She loves it here.

  
  



End file.
